Permanent Collection · Case 4 JOLLYGOLD
Engraving pending
Buy

Employee recognition program

Agent of the month, cast in solid gold.

The engraver was out this week, so accounting taped a receipt to the pedestal instead.

  • Silver trophy cup on a wooden base MOST APOLOGIES SENT
  • Silver trophy cup with a round medallion FASTEST TO SAY “ON IT”
  • Gold trophy cup on a wooden base LONGEST STANDUP, RUNNER-UP
  • Agent of the Month · this one's real
  • Gold trophy cup with a round medallion MOST TABS LEFT OPEN
  • Silver trophy cup with a round medallion SLOWEST REPLY, HONORABLE MENTION
  • Silver trophy cup with filigree handles BEST EXCUSE, THIRD PLACE

SLOT 4 OF 7 · AGENT OF THE MONTH

Internal memo

The brass plate never turned up in time, so the shop receipt got taped on instead. Three weeks now, and it's holding fine.

Case file 4-B

The Full Record

Every step from nomination to the tape job, logged the way facilities logs everything: late, and slightly wrong.

  1. Day 1Nominations close. Jollygold wins on raw ticket count, no runoff needed.
  2. Day 3The foundry casts the trophy in solid gold, ahead of schedule for once.
  3. Day 9The engraver calls in sick. The order stays queued, not rescheduled.
  4. Day 14Facilities asks if the trophy can just go out bare. Someone says no.
  5. Day 17Accounting offers the receipt from the gold purchase as a stand-in nameplate.
  6. Day 18The receipt goes up on a strip of clear tape, at an angle, mid-meeting.
  7. Day 21A ticket gets opened to re-engrave the plate properly. It sits unassigned.
  8. TodayThe receipt is on the shelf. Nobody has touched the tape since.

Deeper in the case

Hall of Fame

Categories the shelf out front doesn't have room for, kept on file in the back office.

Most Confident Reply-All

Hit the whole company thread with total certainty and zero relevant information.

Fastest “Per My Last Email”

Clocked from the original question to the passive-aggressive follow-up: four minutes.

Best Calendar Tetris

Six overlapping meetings, zero double-bookings reported, one quiet resignation letter drafted.

Cleanest Out-of-Office

The only auto-reply on file that never once said “circling back.”

Longest-Running Unread Badge

A notification count old enough to have its own seniority and parking spot.

Best Excuse For A Late Deploy

Category retired after a submission blamed the moon and won anyway.

Front desk

How The Receipt Got There

Why is the nameplate a receipt?

The engraver was out that week and nobody wanted to hold the ceremony for a brass plate.

Is the receipt real?

Yes. It's the actual cash register receipt from the gold purchase, taped on, not laminated or reprinted.

Who approved the tape?

Nobody signed off on it. It went up between two meetings and simply stayed.

Will it get engraved properly?

There's an open ticket for it. No owner, no due date, third week on the board.

Can the receipt fall off?

The tape has held for three weeks straight. Facilities checked it once and moved on.

Does Jollygold know the nameplate is a receipt?

Both arms are raised either way. He was cast for a different problem than this one.

Posted by the door

Rules Of Nomination

  1. Nominations open the first Monday of the month and close whenever accounting remembers to close them.
  2. A nominee needs three colleague votes, or one sufficiently persuasive thread in the group chat.
  3. Self-nomination is allowed and printed on the ballot exactly as submitted, name and all.
  4. The winner is cast in gold within the week. The nameplate is engraved when the engraver is available, not before.
  5. Runner-ups receive silver and, going by the shelf, one filigree handle fewer each time.
  6. No nominee may decline the trophy. There is no form for declining the trophy.
  7. Ties are broken by whoever answered the most messages after six that month.